Thursday, October 30, 2008

Emotions and a special THANK YOU

Normally, I am not a very emotional person, but these past couple of weeks have really gotten to me. I've been sad, angry, hurt, and crushed. Words can not describe how I have felt. At Shane's grandpa's funeral yesterday, I really thought I was going to loose it. "Papa Towery" as the girls call him, always had a way of making me smile. He had such a sincere and caring heart and as it was mentioned yesterday, he always spoke his mind. I never visited with him and left with him making me laugh at least once. He will be missed, but he has been reunited with his love, Kate, whom is has mourned for the past 9 months and is in no more pain. I can honestly say, I think they had the strangest relationship I have EVER seen, but obvioulsly, it was strong!

Today has been an emotional day as well. I spent most of the day sitting with my Dad, wondering if each breath would be his last. It hurts me so deeply to see him suffering as his is. Due to the medicine, he mumbles a lot, and it is hard to recognize if he really wants something or if he is talking in his sleep. He has been sleeping with his eyes partially open. One moment, I could tell by his face he was upset and crying, and he said, "I will miss ya'll" as plain as it could be said. I held his hand and gently rubbed it and he calmed down. He has blood clots in his lets and a CT scan showed the cancer has spread to his stomach. My Mom and I discussed Hospice today and the nursed contacted them. We had our mind made up to take him there. Keep in mind, for the past few days, we could barely understand a work Daddy has been saying, but Mom said, when Dr. Yee walked into the room tonight, Daddy sat up in the bed, his eyes opened wide, and he told the doctor he was not giving up and he wanted to find another doctor that was willing to give him Chemo. Dr. Yee refuses because he said his body is too weak to handle it. Dr. Yee is sending another doctor in tomorrow. His BP dropped very low again during the night and has been low most of the day. His body is so weak, he can not even turn from his back to his side without someone doing it for him. My Mom and my brother are having a very hard time so Please say a prayer for their stregnth. I also thought it was the right time to let Kelsey & Kaley know what was going on. I explained to them that God may be ready to take Papa soon, but he would no longer be sick and hurting anymore. Kelsey ran to her room, got behind the door, and cried. Kaley put her hands over her ears as if she didn't hear me. Only God knows what tomorrow may bring!

I would like to thank you Kelly, for the card and for your kind and sincere words. It really touched my heart. I know you and your family are going through a difficult time as well, and for you to take the time the write those heartfelt words means more to me than you will ever know! Thank you for reminding me that I do have God with me, and he will get us through this! I love you all and I am blessed to be married into your family!!!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Pray! Pray! Pray!

Shane's grandpa, Dewey Towery passed away this morning. PLEASE PRAY for the Towery family. His grandmother passed away only 9 months ago. Please pray for the strength and comfort during this time. He was a wonderful man and he always made me smile.

I also have two other prayer being for my Dad. He is still in the hospital and the prognosis is not good. He is still fighting, but all the doctors can really do is make him comfortable. They are giving him morphine every 2 hours so sometimes he is awake and alert and sometimes he is knocked out. The vomiting has come back over the past few days. He is loosing circulation in his feet and legs. The color is better but they are swollen so bad.

The other prayer request is for Shane and I. We are going through a very difficult time right now. I have been reluntant to post this, but I feel the more prayers we have, the better. Shane is living a life of sin right now. He has let Satan take control of his actions and I am very worried about his soul, espicially with him going to Afganistan soon. As much as I want us to get through this, my first concern is that he will repent of what he has done and turn his life back to Christ. I am concerned and worried about our little girls too. Please pray for my stregnth because some days I feel like I am going to fall apart. I don't know how much I can handle. Thank you all! Prayers is a special gift given to us by our amazing GOD so we all need to use that gift. We may not understand why things happen (I know that I don't), but I know that God has a will and a reason for everything.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Sad update on Daddy

My Mom called me about 30 mins. ago crying and she put me on the phone with Daddy whom was also crying. I tried to make out as much as I could but I still don't know all the details. His oncologist came in and basically told him things were not good. He told him he was going to make him comfortable and if his heart stops, they will not try to bring him back. The fluid is getting more and more and is now moving to his legs, feet and ankles. They told him if they attempted treatment or the biopsy they were planning to do, he probably would make it through the procedure. I will post more details when I find out. PLEASE KEEP PRAYING that he will be comforted and not suffer. Please pray for my Mom, our family, and my little girls. I'm not sure how to tell them:( Thank you all so much!!

Friday, October 17, 2008

Daddy is in the hospital again

Daddy is being admitted to the hospital again as we speak. His BP is 70/50. Please say a special prayer!!!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Have you ever...

been to a hair salon and the cosmetologist tell you that she didn't like doing the type of haircut you were requesting? neither until today. The lady asked me what type of haircut I wanted and I told her basically the same cut I already have, but shorter. (The Bob) She then said, well I will see what I can do. I looked at her and said, "Since you don't feel comfortable cutting it, I will just go somewhere else."

Sunday, October 12, 2008

The words of a child

Kelsey and Kaley were sitting at the table a few days ago with my Daddy. The girls started talking about Santa Clause. I heard Kelsey tell my Daddy, "Papa, I bet you will ask Santa Clause to make you better Papa." She then said, "I bet he will".

To hear their prayers just amaze me. They are so sincere and heartfelt. They pray for everybody and everything, including the pets. There is nothing like the words of a child.

This video was made about 2 years ago while Shane was in Iraq. I just thought I would share...

Thursday, October 2, 2008

God is Good

Thank our amazing God, Daddy was able to come home today. He is feeling better now than he has in over a month. He is still very weak, but hopefully now that he feels like getting up and eating, he will start regaining some strength. We all thought that is was the progression of the cancer that was making him so sick, however, he had 2 different type of bacterial infections. One of them was Peritonitis which makes you very very sick. It has been wonderful actually carrying on a conversation with him, seeing him smile, and seeing him interact with the girls. God is Good!! I know he still has a very difficult fight ahead of him, but we are praying he will once again be able to beat it, Lord willing!! Thank you all so much for your thoughts, concerns, and prayers!! GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!

I took Kaley to the doctor a couple days ago considering she had that horrible cough for 2 weeks that even made her throw up. I despise taking them to the doctor because they act so TERRIBLE when they go. I can't blame them for what both of them have had done, but it really embarrasses me. Anyways, she had walking pnemonia. She feels fine, just can't seem to kick the cough.