Monday, September 29, 2008

The "Thankin" Chair, Vomit, and WOW! What a Day!

What a day it has been!!! Daddy has been moved out of ICU (more details later in the blog) so thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers! After school Kelsey came up to me and said, "Mom, I really need to tell you something but you are going to be so mad at me!" I said, "What is it?" She kept on and on about the being mad part. I was thinking to myself, what in the world did you do? She said, "My teacher put me in the "thankin" (as my child says for thinking) chair today but it wasn't really me that did it, it was my sister." It was all I could do not to laugh at the thought of them being 5 years old and trying to blame the other one already. I calmly asked her what happen. She said, "Me and ___ was playing with a bug and our teacher told us not to, but my sissy made me do it. She was playing with it first so I had to play with it too, but she didn't get in the "Thankin" Chair." I tried to explain to her that I wasn't mad at the fact she was playing with the bug, but the fact that she didn't listen to her teacher. Anyways...before bedtime, the girls were taking a bath and Kaley started having a coughing attack. I went in there and she threw up ALL IN THE WATER and both girls were just sitting there. I start grabbing them out of the tub, my phone is ringing off the hook (my mom from the hospital), text messages coming in, trying to hold Kaley over the tolit to keep throwing up, both girls are dripping wet and freezing. Yep after this 5 minute ordeal was overI wanted to SCREAM!!! I returned the phone calls, text messages, got the girls a towel and dressed for bed, and sat and held them for a few minutes while watching the cheeta girls! After puting them in bed I had a nice long talk with my brother which helped me so much. It helped me to wake up and realize a lot of thing, mostly the fact that he or I neither one are letting God control our lives. We are trying to control our own lives and it's not happening! I have been going to church, going through the motions, but my heart and my mind has been miles away.

Daddy has been dianosed with a baterial infection in his stomach. He had another blood transfusion today that will hopefully make his BP go up. He will be there at least 4 days. PLEASE KEEP PRAYING!!

Urgent Prayer Request

Daddy was put in ICU last night. He has been VERY SICK this past several days. Mom took him to the ER yesterday evening. His BP was only 60/30. They are giving him Morphine, Zofran, and I'm not sure what else which has helped with the pain and throwing up. His intestines are also stopped up. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PRAY!!

Friday, September 26, 2008

A Shoe Battle

It is a battle to get Kelsey and Kaley to put their shoes on in the mornings or anytime it comes to them having to wear shoes with closed backs. They have very skinny heels and no matter what type of shoes I buy them, even narrow width, they slide on their heels and they can't stand it. They have a fit everyday because they can't get them tight enough. I have tried taking each lace out and pulling it as tight as I can and they still go up on their heels. It's so frustrating. I know it bothers them but I don't know what to do about it! They Nike's are narrow width but still slide. Any suggestions to where I can go to buy narrow shoes? I really feel bad for them.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Counting my blessings

I visited with Shane's grandpa last night at the nursing home and talking with him made me realize that I need to count the many blessings in my life instead of the negative in my life. God has blessed me and lately I have been forgetting that. I have always enjoyed talking with him and he always manages to bring a smile to my face wether he intends to or not. Please say a little prayers for him. To hear him talk the physical therapy is really getting to him but he seems to be trying so hard because he wants out of that wheelchair.

I am thankful that my Daddy was feeling a little better today. On Friday he had a blood transfusion. They gave him 2 pints of blood. That evening we took him to the ballgame on Friday in a wheelchair. He cried several times. The president of the Rebel Regiment booster club gave him a blanket at the beginning of the game. Then during halftime, they read his biograpy, then asked him if he felt like coming on the field. He didn't go, but after their performance Mr. Mac (the band director) came over and talked with us and my dad. He gave him a RR hat and golf shirt. He teared up again. He was really exhausted when we got home. Yesterday he was very sick. It was probably one of the worst days yet. He was vomiting all day long and didn't get out of the bed. I finally talked him into taking the medicine the doctor had given him for nausea. Today, he looks so much better. He still hasn't been up much, but I can tell by his face and the way he is communicating that he felt some better. We pray tomorrow may be an even better day. An elderly woman told mom today at church that she woke up in the middle of the night and her husband was sitting up on the side of the bed. She asked him what he was doing and he replied, "I am praying for Joe." Our church family is amazing!! God has really blessed us with an amazing church and church family.

And God blessed me with two beautiful little girls whom have gotten me through a lot during the past several years.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

My Dad needs Blood

They are sending Daddy to get blood in the morning. His blood and BP are very low. He is white as a ghost. Dr. Yee told him it should make him feel a little better, so please pray it does! The Byrnes Band is dedicating their show to him tomorrow. We even have reserved seats in the handicapped section. Lord willing, we are going to get him to that ball game somehow. If we have to we will put him in a wheel chair. Our community, family, friends, and our church family have all been trulely amazing during my dad's illness. What a blessing to have such wonderful people in our lives. God is awesome, even though lately I think think I have been forgetting that. I have been weak and letting Satan take over my thoughts. Please pray that I can be strong and resist Satans temptations. Please keep praying for my dad!!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

My Dad continues to grow weaker

If you could, please take a moment to say a prayer for my Dad. He is continuing to get weaker and weaker everyday. He is to the point now where he can barely walk. I took him to the doctor this morning and I had to hold onto his arm to keep him from falling. All he does is lay in the recliner and sleep. We try to get him up and encourage him, but he won't do it. He says he don't feel like it. He was knocked out of the trial treatment at Duke because he bilirubin count was too high. He has been 5 weeks now with no treatment which really scares me, espicially seeing how he is getting worse and worse. I took him to the cancer center in Greenville this morning and they are going to try a different treatment. They have to get a sample of the tissue but due to the fact that he is so weak, they do not want to put him to sleep to do a biopsy. They are hoping to be able to get enough tissue from the fluid he has been getting in his stomach to send off to Arizona. They will test it and maybe pinpoint a more targeted drug than the normal Gezmar used to treat pancreatic cancer. The only bad thing is it takes 10-14 days to get the results back after they get the tissue. I don't feel like he has the time to wait, but the treatment that they can give him now is not very effective:( It is heartbreaking watching him lay in that chair and get worse and worse and there is nothing I can do about it. Please say a prayer for my Mom too. She is so strong!! She is trying so hard to push him and motivate him, but he gets angry with her. He is not himself anymore. He is taking his anger out on my mom I think. She has so much to do and to think about, but she never lets it get her down. I have been taking him twice a week to have the fluid drawn from his stomach. Each time they take 6 Liters. He has a lot of nausea and vomiting. If God is ready to take my Dad, please pray that he will comfort him and that he will not suffer.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

So Worried

I am so worried about my Dad. He grows weaker and weaker each day. They decided at Duke they can not do the trial treament on him because his Bilirubin count is too high. It has been 4 weeks with no treatment and it can not be postponed any longer. He had 6 Liters of Fluid drawn out today. He had 5 Liters taken out 5 days ago, so that shows how fast his stomach is filling up. It is so scary. I was driving him to the hospital this morning to have the fluid taken out and he was struggling to breath and coudn't even catch a breath to talk. They doctor wrote a new order that he can have up to 6Liters taken out twice a week. The chemo that Dr. Yee can give him here is only a 20% chance of stopping the cancer. Please pray my Dad may be comforted. He has been miserable over the past couple of weeks with the fluid, the itching, not sleeping, shortness of breath, etc. Please be with our family and help us to be strong for him. Pray we can continue to keep our faith and allow God to take control. Thank you all so much!!

Friday, September 5, 2008

Random Happenings

First and foremost I would like to Thank each and every member of our community, our church family, our extended family, and people we don't even know. It is AMAZING at the love, the kindness, the willingness to help, and the support of everyone since my Dad's illness. It is truely a blessing how people come together in a time like this. We were contacted yesterday and asked if it was okay for the Byrnes Band to dedicate their half time show to Daddy on the 19th. They want him to write a biography and are giving him as many tickets as he wants. The tears fell from all of our eyes. The Byrnes football team gave him a game ball earlier this year with all of their authographs on it. Daddy has been very emotional over the past few days. Yesterday he was crying a lot, espicially after he was told that about the band. Today he was very emotional because he said, "Who is going to take care of my mother when I die?" Gees, I am going to cry now. His Mom is 85 years old and he is an only child. Of course my Mama told him if anything happens to him that she will be taken care of. They had to postpone his treatment at Duke because his bilirubin was too high. He has been having more and more fluid over the past week. Last Thursday he had 3 Liters taken out (the max they could take), and by Sat. he looked like he was 9 months pregnant. Monday he went to the ER and they took 3 more liters. (he was still huge). Yesterday (Thursday) they took 5 Liters and again, it is already coming back. It is so hard seeing him get weaker and weaker each day. For those of you who know my Dad know his favorite things to do were eat and go to football games. Now, he can't do either. He use to weigh almost 300 lbs. Now he weighs 175 and that is with fluid in his stomach. We all know and I think we have accepted it as much as possible, that the medically, the odds are against him. However, none of us know what God has in store for us. I just pray that whatever happens, he will be comfortable and not in pain. His life is in God's hands. All of our lives are in God's hands. It is still hard knowing that he may not be here with us next year, but knowing that we have Christ in our lives to watch over us is such a tremendous blessing and comfort. My mind is so full of wonders and worries that I can't even function the right way. When I am driving I find myself missing turns, going the wrong way, etc. I know that there is a chance that I may loose the 2 most important men in my life over the next year, my daddy and my husband (deploying to Afganistan in Feb.) I find myself thinking, how will the girls handle that? They would be devastated. I try to think positive but sometimes I find myself just imagining life without the both of them. Please Please Please pray for all of us! Also, keep my Mom in your thoughts and prayers. She is such a stong and wonderful woman!
Okay, so next topic now that I am in tears. My little girls had their heart broken for the first time tonight. There is a stray baby kitten that has came here. The girls were playing with it tonight and my Mom told them they can't bring it in the house because we already have 2 cats and a German Shepard that stays in the house. The kitten was outside crying and the girls were heartbroken. Kelsey said, "You're such a mean mommy! I wish I had another mommy that would let me keep the kitten." :( I tried to explain to her why we couldn't bring the cat inside but of course they don't understand.
Here are some pictures of my girls and my beautiful niece, Sarah.