Thursday, December 4, 2008
It's been a while since I've last blogged. First of all I want to thank each and everyone who has prayed for our family. For the first time in a long time I feel like my prayers have been answered in so many ways. God is amazing! On Dec. 26, 2007, when my Dad first found out he had pancreatic cancer, I prayed so hard that God would heal him and not take him from us. I prayed he would be able to have the Whipple operation and would be in the 3-5% of people that survive longer than a year. And for a few months, God did that, the cancer stopped growing and appeared to be dead. He felt good, went back to work, and was regaining some of his strength. I am thankful for those months, even though I was in Alaska for most of it and didn't enjoy this time with him. Sometimes I feel quilty for going away, but God wanted us to be with Shane. Back to my point of my prayers being answered....in August when the cancer came back, at first I once again prayed that he would be healed. They sent him to Duke to have the trail treatments, but he was knocked out of the trial. Something always seemed to happen that allowed him not to have treatment. From Aug. until he passed away he had one treatment. I did blame the doctors for this but now I realize that God had his reasons for Daddy not having the treatments. After I realized that Daddy was not going to get better, I began praying that God would comfort him, keep him from pain, and not allow him to suffer. I prayed that he would die. That must sound horrible. It was horrible seeing him suffer the way he did. To see my once 300 lbs Dad that loved to eat anything and everything, laying in the bed nothing but skin and bones, except the fluid that kept building up in his stomach. I am not going to post the details of the suffering and/or his death because it was so terrible. Back to my point again, on Nov. 1 at 2:19 A.M., God answered my prayers and took his pain and suffering away. He lost his battle to cancer but won eternal life in Heaven. By taking my Daddy, God answered not only one prayer but two. He kept my family together. Some of you know about the problems Shane and I were having. The night Daddy passed away I contacted the American Red Cross, and the Army allowed Shane to come home for a month. During this month, Shane and I made amazing progress, and we've both reailzed a lot of things. I feel like God took my Dad when he did so that my family would be saved. If Shane did not come home, I feel like our marriage would not have worked. God knew Shane and I needed to be together to work things out. I miss my Dad so much!!! Everytime I close my eyes I see the night he passed away. I have nightmares about it and have a difficult time sleeping. I thank God for giving me the strength to be there for both he and my Mom. God is good!!! It doesn't always seem that way, but the trials that are thrown in our paths are meant to make us stronger.God Bless you all! I will post some pictures soon!