In Loving Memory

The night of my Daddy's funeral the girls called me into their room and said, "Look Mom! We made a special shelf for Papa so we don't forget!" The flowers are from the flower that was on his casket. They wrote in a sharpie marker, I Love Papa, I Love Joe, etc. What was I suppose to say?

NO TEARS IN HEAVEN!!!

No more suffering!! No more pain! No more sickness!! There are "NO TEARS IN HEAVEN!"

Joe Edward Nance
07/26/1956-11/01/2008
52 years old
Loving Husband, Father and Son!! He was an amazing Papa who loved those little girls more than anything on this earth. I believe they are why he held on as long as he did. He kept telling us, "I promised Kelsey and Kaley I would always be there for them" Most importantly, he was a devoted Christian whom did everything he could to his life according to God's will.

He took his last breath around 2:20 AM Saturday morning. I was on one side and Mom on the other holding him and talking to him. Our wonderful preacher and friend, Jon, my Papa Nelson, and my Aunt Linda were also in the room. I feel like God sent Linda to be there that day with him and my Mom. She was amazing with Daddy and her presence was a blessing. It was the hardest and most painful experience of my life but I THANK GOD for giving me the strength to be there for him and for my Mom. I just told the girls this evening what happened, but I think they kind of had it figured out on their own. They are trying to act like they didn't hear me. I think they are going to be okay though. They are tuff little girls.

Another blessing...I contacted the American Red Cross to get a message sent out to Shane. They are putting him on a plane in the morning to come home. He will be here for almost 4 weeks. We have not spent a Thanksgiving together in 4 years and we will do so this year. Also, his family needs him right now in the loss of his grandparents.

I thank each and everyone of you for your comments, your thoughts, your prayers, your support, tand the offers to help me with the girls! IT means more to me than you will ever know. Please continue praying for our family because we have a long road ahead of us and it is going to take time to heal our broken hearts. GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!

Emotions and a special THANK YOU

Normally, I am not a very emotional person, but these past couple of weeks have really gotten to me. I've been sad, angry, hurt, and crushed. Words can not describe how I have felt. At Shane's grandpa's funeral yesterday, I really thought I was going to loose it. "Papa Towery" as the girls call him, always had a way of making me smile. He had such a sincere and caring heart and as it was mentioned yesterday, he always spoke his mind. I never visited with him and left with him making me laugh at least once. He will be missed, but he has been reunited with his love, Kate, whom is has mourned for the past 9 months and is in no more pain. I can honestly say, I think they had the strangest relationship I have EVER seen, but obvioulsly, it was strong!

Today has been an emotional day as well. I spent most of the day sitting with my Dad, wondering if each breath would be his last. It hurts me so deeply to see him suffering as his is. Due to the medicine, he mumbles a lot, and it is hard to recognize if he really wants something or if he is talking in his sleep. He has been sleeping with his eyes partially open. One moment, I could tell by his face he was upset and crying, and he said, "I will miss ya'll" as plain as it could be said. I held his hand and gently rubbed it and he calmed down. He has blood clots in his lets and a CT scan showed the cancer has spread to his stomach. My Mom and I discussed Hospice today and the nursed contacted them. We had our mind made up to take him there. Keep in mind, for the past few days, we could barely understand a work Daddy has been saying, but Mom said, when Dr. Yee walked into the room tonight, Daddy sat up in the bed, his eyes opened wide, and he told the doctor he was not giving up and he wanted to find another doctor that was willing to give him Chemo. Dr. Yee refuses because he said his body is too weak to handle it. Dr. Yee is sending another doctor in tomorrow. His BP dropped very low again during the night and has been low most of the day. His body is so weak, he can not even turn from his back to his side without someone doing it for him. My Mom and my brother are having a very hard time so Please say a prayer for their stregnth. I also thought it was the right time to let Kelsey & Kaley know what was going on. I explained to them that God may be ready to take Papa soon, but he would no longer be sick and hurting anymore. Kelsey ran to her room, got behind the door, and cried. Kaley put her hands over her ears as if she didn't hear me. Only God knows what tomorrow may bring!

I would like to thank you Kelly, for the card and for your kind and sincere words. It really touched my heart. I know you and your family are going through a difficult time as well, and for you to take the time the write those heartfelt words means more to me than you will ever know! Thank you for reminding me that I do have God with me, and he will get us through this! I love you all and I am blessed to be married into your family!!!

Pray! Pray! Pray!

Shane's grandpa, Dewey Towery passed away this morning. PLEASE PRAY for the Towery family. His grandmother passed away only 9 months ago. Please pray for the strength and comfort during this time. He was a wonderful man and he always made me smile.

I also have two other prayer request...one being for my Dad. He is still in the hospital and the prognosis is not good. He is still fighting, but all the doctors can really do is make him comfortable. They are giving him morphine every 2 hours so sometimes he is awake and alert and sometimes he is knocked out. The vomiting has come back over the past few days. He is loosing circulation in his feet and legs. The color is better but they are swollen so bad.

The other prayer request is for Shane and I. We are going through a very difficult time right now. I have been reluntant to post this, but I feel the more prayers we have, the better. Shane is living a life of sin right now. He has let Satan take control of his actions and I am very worried about his soul, espicially with him going to Afganistan soon. As much as I want us to get through this, my first concern is that he will repent of what he has done and turn his life back to Christ. I am concerned and worried about our little girls too. Please pray for my stregnth because some days I feel like I am going to fall apart. I don't know how much I can handle. Thank you all! Prayers is a special gift given to us by our amazing GOD so we all need to use that gift. We may not understand why things happen (I know that I don't), but I know that God has a will and a reason for everything.

Sad update on Daddy

My Mom called me about 30 mins. ago crying and she put me on the phone with Daddy whom was also crying. I tried to make out as much as I could but I still don't know all the details. His oncologist came in and basically told him things were not good. He told him he was going to make him comfortable and if his heart stops, they will not try to bring him back. The fluid is getting more and more and is now moving to his legs, feet and ankles. They told him if they attempted treatment or the biopsy they were planning to do, he probably would make it through the procedure. I will post more details when I find out. PLEASE KEEP PRAYING that he will be comforted and not suffer. Please pray for my Mom, our family, and my little girls. I'm not sure how to tell them:( Thank you all so much!!

Daddy is in the hospital again

Daddy is being admitted to the hospital again as we speak. His BP is 70/50. Please say a special prayer!!!

Have you ever...

been to a hair salon and the cosmetologist tell you that she didn't like doing the type of haircut you were requesting? Well...me neither until today. The lady asked me what type of haircut I wanted and I told her basically the same cut I already have, but shorter. (The Bob) She then said, well I will see what I can do. I looked at her and said, "Since you don't feel comfortable cutting it, I will just go somewhere else."