Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Aching Heart

Tomorrow we have to say Goodbye, AGAIN! I am hurting so bad. This is possibly going to be the last time I see him for a year (until his R&R from Afganistan). He is hoping to come home at Christmas, but who knows. The Army is such a messed up organization. We took the girls to Chuckie Cheese last night, and I was sitting there fighting the tears back the entire time. Shane is assuring me that it is really going to be better that I'm leaving because he is going to be gone so much training and he won't have to worry about us being at home alone. He is being promoted to Sergent too, so he is assuming more responsibility which will even take more of his time. It also hurts me knowing that I am going home to my sick dad. I don't know how to describe how I am feeling. All I know, is that my heart feels so empty and sad. I have nightmares EVERY NIGHT! It's usually about death. I stay up until 4am and still can't go to sleep. I lay in the bed with millions of thoughts just running through my head. On top of the mental craziness I'm having, I have an ear infection that hurts like something awful and a pulled muscle in my lower back. WAAA WAAA!!! I guess I need to have a pity party huh? I know there are so many people out there dealing with so much more than I am. I know I need to count my blessings and not the negative in my life. It's so hard. I have had so much going on for for long (if that makes since). Please pray that I can be strong for my sweet girls and for me. Pray for my mom and dad. Pray for Shane. Pray for Kelsey and Kaley. Thank you and GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!

1 comment:

Christan Trotter said...

Girl, you are definitely in our thoughts and prayers. Goodbyes are HORRIBLE!!! I'm here if you need anything! See ya soon! Enjoy your time together!