So Sad yet so thankful

I am an emotional wreck right now. I had an ultrasound today and found out that I am once again carrying twins. The first baby looks great with a strong heartbeat. When she moved to the other baby I knew immediately something wasn't right. The baby was smaller than the first and she could find no heartbeat:( I feel so guilty for praying for one baby and making comments to people in a joking manner. It is so difficult know there is a baby inside of me that isn't alive. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be carrying another set of twins. I told the doctor right before the ultrasound that I was praying for one baby. WHen she first started looking she kind of chuckled and said, well, there is two sacs. I looked at her and said, "You're kidding me." Of course, emotions changed rather quickly. I am very thankful for the healthy baby. Please say a little prayer for me. I am having a very hard time right now:(